Diary. Flightless bird.9

You all have no idea. You'll never do. I'm blinking in slow motion and my soul doesn't feel right anymore. The feeling of non-belonging is hotter than never on my chest. I know that what I am feeling is for nothing. I am dreaming of something not real and it's more painful than ever. Now I just hate it when everyone says "Yes, i am dreaming of nonsenses too!" but they don't have a clue how it feels like to love an idea. I know the soundtrack is responsible partly but I can't stop it. It's as gorgeous as the pale face I'm imagining. I know, I know, it's not real. But I regret so much that I'll never have that. Maybe. I can't imagine the future in this moment. "What would happen if..." seems so unbearable for me. Lets breathe. I'm alone.

song: Iron&wine- Flightless bird, American mouth

(one tear)

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