Diary.15.Time after time.

In our world, time seems not be enough anymore. We run, we have infinite schedules and amounts of appointments, so now everything seems to brief and sudden. I don't know about your time, but mine has quite a personality.

During the school year, it passes by me without even looking at me. I almost never find time for completing my works as I have to go to school, to other classes, and, of course, to do nothing. I love doing nothing. It's what I do one hour a day. I can't say it is relaxing or useful, but playing some purely instrumental music and lying down onto something without falling asleep is quality time, for me. Time with myself. It can help. Depends on the music. One hour is enough for me to rest and too short to finish a painting so I don't feel guilty about it. About homework, well, I can't lie. It seems not just a waste of time,but almost every day I suddenly feel like I have a more important thing to do when I start working on them. Still, I don't have time to read as much as I wish, maybe because I waste time on other things I shouldn't.

During the weekends, I can't do much as I need to rest. But holidays are something else. I become a different person. I am not as stressed, as nervous as I may seem during school (and I am sorry for that). Because I am allowed to do what I adore, I feel more liberated and enjoy every hour as I can, even if I may be temped to waste them away on nothing at all.
Well, that is the truth.
As insufficient as it seems to me, I can't blame it as some say that time is actually being shorter than it was in the past.

During the last days I started thinking about summer days under warm raindrops, with no shoes and a song. Oh, how much I miss them, those times in the countryside when I used to dance on the wet grass, when I used to lie under a tree when the sky was so blue, my eyes would hurt. I can't help but fear that maybe I won't be a child enough to do so anymore.

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